BEAR

BEAR
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE

DUSTYBEAR'S LAUGH TRACK

FUNZIES AND LAUGHS...
for the queer eye AND the straight guy

SHORTY IS...

350# WandaMae was walking down the street...behind a midget, when she suddenly sneezed... Causing a horrific backdraft. In trying to regain her balance, she snapped her legs together. THE PROBLEM: was it death by accident or...homicide? Further complicating the matter is the fact that the midget's corpse was smiling. SUICIDE, perhaps? THE TOMBSTONE READS: HERE LIES SHORTY... Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BULEEEVE THIS SHIT.

JESUS...

Have you met my Rottweiler friend Jesus. He loves to bite butt.

Religious and thrifty he ith too.
JESUS SAVES hith bones. Buries them next to the bodies in the back yard. Cute kid he.

ANYWAY...

Here is the skinny
(Sit down Mary.
When it's your turn I'll call you).

I will make a statement and you fill in the blanks.

SUCH AS:

"There I wath, jest sitting around the cave minding my own business, when____________."

The idea is to supply answers that are INCREDIBLY WITTY. Or, you can just put in your usual crap. LOL.

Okay. Here is the funniest one since the invention of the fake pregnancy pillow for men, (electric vibrator, life-size blow-up doll of Justin Timberlake, the personalizable dart board {Enclose the photo of the victim}, the FAKE 2 ft penith, with directions on installation. Batteries are not included NOR recommended. UL is studying the issue. A coupon for a gallon of KY is included.)


Being Five Comics

MAUKE SEZ: A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS THE MICE AWAY...and he should know...

ALIENS...

Friday, June 1, 2007

DUSTYBEAR PREPARES FOR NEW BOOKIE

I am getting ready to do more edity, and some more writing on mah next bookie.
It's called....

'Having A Lover...For Fun And Profit'. Twill be a best-seller in the gay ghetto, Ah jest knows it.
Subtitle isth: 'AIMING FOR SUCCESS...IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS' (Film at eleven)
OR: 'Try Not To Sneeze As You Pull The Trigger'.
Of course, there will be a sequel...
'1001 Ways To Camouflage The Bodies Of Your Victims', and I am SO proud of that one.
I especially like the chapter on decorative planters. There are some exquisite macrame ones.
With a little ingenuity, and having a 'DISCREET' plumber friend helps, I have provided some wonderful plans for lawn sprinklers. Imagine your dearly departed love...standing proudly in the front yard, and 'sprinkling'. Oh, I jest loves that one. And, you can stick a little computer up his butt and set him on a timer. That way he can tinkle when you tell him to. I do so hate that random tinkly thingy.
You can also paint or stain him and stick him by the front door. Blackface. Hey, he can look like Aunt Jemima's brother. TRES kewl.
Use him as a coat rack. Towel rack. OH, dah possibilities are END...less.
Well, bois and boisterous, I gots tah git to work. I'm working on a new project. HEHEHE.
(Evil grin). It's like one of them old-time water pump thingys. Yep, you crank that 'THING' up and down, stuff comes out of his moufie.
WAY kewl.

Shame I had to break up with him though. But it WAS time. Ran out of bullets I did. LOL.

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