BEAR

BEAR
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE

DUSTYBEAR'S LAUGH TRACK

FUNZIES AND LAUGHS...
for the queer eye AND the straight guy

SHORTY IS...

350# WandaMae was walking down the street...behind a midget, when she suddenly sneezed... Causing a horrific backdraft. In trying to regain her balance, she snapped her legs together. THE PROBLEM: was it death by accident or...homicide? Further complicating the matter is the fact that the midget's corpse was smiling. SUICIDE, perhaps? THE TOMBSTONE READS: HERE LIES SHORTY... Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BULEEEVE THIS SHIT.

JESUS...

Have you met my Rottweiler friend Jesus. He loves to bite butt.

Religious and thrifty he ith too.
JESUS SAVES hith bones. Buries them next to the bodies in the back yard. Cute kid he.

ANYWAY...

Here is the skinny
(Sit down Mary.
When it's your turn I'll call you).

I will make a statement and you fill in the blanks.

SUCH AS:

"There I wath, jest sitting around the cave minding my own business, when____________."

The idea is to supply answers that are INCREDIBLY WITTY. Or, you can just put in your usual crap. LOL.

Okay. Here is the funniest one since the invention of the fake pregnancy pillow for men, (electric vibrator, life-size blow-up doll of Justin Timberlake, the personalizable dart board {Enclose the photo of the victim}, the FAKE 2 ft penith, with directions on installation. Batteries are not included NOR recommended. UL is studying the issue. A coupon for a gallon of KY is included.)


Being Five Comics

MAUKE SEZ: A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS THE MICE AWAY...and he should know...

ALIENS...

Saturday, June 2, 2007

WHO SAYS NUNS DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye.
It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign which says:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, Please knock on this door."

He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."
He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT,
YOU SINNER.

"If practice makes perfect and nobodys perfect, why practice??"
Dustybear 2007

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