THE OFFICE CONTEST TO BEAT ALL OFFICE CONTESTS The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1. Viagra, This is your peepee, this is your peepee on drugs..
DUSTYBEAR'S LAUGH TRACK
FUNZIES AND LAUGHS...
for the queer eye AND the straight guy
for the queer eye AND the straight guy
SHORTY IS...
350# WandaMae was walking down the street...behind a midget, when she suddenly sneezed...
Causing a horrific backdraft.
In trying to regain her balance, she snapped her legs together.
THE PROBLEM: was it death by accident or...homicide?
Further complicating the matter is the fact that the midget's corpse was smiling.
SUICIDE, perhaps?
THE TOMBSTONE READS:
HERE LIES SHORTY...
Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BULEEEVE THIS SHIT.
JESUS...
Have you met my Rottweiler friend Jesus. He loves to bite butt.
Religious and thrifty he ith too.
JESUS SAVES hith bones. Buries them next to the bodies in the back yard. Cute kid he.
ANYWAY...
Here is the skinny
Religious and thrifty he ith too.
JESUS SAVES hith bones. Buries them next to the bodies in the back yard. Cute kid he.
ANYWAY...
Here is the skinny
(Sit down Mary.
When it's your turn I'll call you).
I will make a statement and you fill in the blanks.
SUCH AS:
"There I wath, jest sitting around the cave minding my own business, when____________."
The idea is to supply answers that are INCREDIBLY WITTY. Or, you can just put in your usual crap. LOL.
I will make a statement and you fill in the blanks.
SUCH AS:
"There I wath, jest sitting around the cave minding my own business, when____________."
The idea is to supply answers that are INCREDIBLY WITTY. Or, you can just put in your usual crap. LOL.
Okay. Here is the funniest one since the invention of the fake pregnancy pillow for men, (electric vibrator, life-size blow-up doll of Justin Timberlake, the personalizable dart board {Enclose the photo of the victim}, the FAKE 2 ft penith, with directions on installation. Batteries are not included NOR recommended. UL is studying the issue. A coupon for a gallon of KY is included.)
Being Five Comics
MAUKE SEZ: A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS THE MICE AWAY...and he should know...
ALIENS...
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